Third Year

I just finished my second week. I liked labor and delivery, at least the night shift. The next two weeks will be women's health clinic. I did two or three vaginal exams last week, which I was a little afraid of but now I'm not so worried about. I saw about six deliveries, delivered a placenta, and almost got to catch a baby. I think I'll get another chance in a couple months, or maybe on my weekend shift next week if I'm lucky.

There's a lot of pressure to know things, since almost everyone I talk to on the team is a resident or intern or physician who knows more than me, and I know almost nothing. So I try to be like a sponge, picking up little tips and facts and concepts right and left, but it's hard to make them stick. It is kind of cool to be doing something rather than just thinking all the time. I go back and forth between feeling very enthusiastic and feeling overwhelmed by the sheer mass of information I need to know by the time I get through all the specialties. One of the residents told us we would need thick skin to make it through, and I can see why; sometimes it's hard not to take it personally when other trainees ignore you or laugh at you or chew you out or simply look disgusted with your ignorance and stupidity. At least I don't have any true responsibilities for patient care yet--it's hard to imagine ever being competent enough to be entrusted with it. Someday.

Anyway, I'm almost halfway through OB/GYN so I guess this thing will move right along. I hear fourth year is much more chilled out--I'm sure I'll remind myself of that regularly. For the moment, at least, the resentment is passed and I'm having a good time.