Homeschooling

Right before Thanksgiving break, we took Sal out of school and started homeschooling. I never thought that I would want to homeschool my children. I'm the kind of mom that was excited for the day my children would go off to school and I would have some time to myself again. And when Sal went off to Kindergarten, it was so great! Sal loved school. Milo and I had time one-on-one, and on the days Milo went to play with friends or while he took his nap I had this fantastic window of free time. For a while I had a weekly date with my climbing buddy, I ate lunch with friends, I worked on projects, I read books BY MYSELF,  I exercised, I stared contentedly at the wall...  It was wonderful. And only two more years until Milo went off too!

This year, Sal started first grade. She was excited all summer to start. But it just never went as well this year. Sal had a hard time adjusting to the long day and the crowded lunchroom and playground. I expected that, and figured she would get used to it. But she stayed unhappy all the way through September and all the way through October, and into November. She would cry at night and cry in the morning. She told me she had started a club called the Rose Bud Club. It was a club that met in the peace garden during recess for kids who were having a hard day. She was the president, and her friend was the assistant. She says most days the club was just her. So sad! It broke my heart to picture her sitting small and alone in the garden.

We were also having a hard time adjusting as a family. Our time together in the morning was rushed as we tried to get to school on time, creating tense interactions almost every morning. (Hurry! Get dressed! Hurry, practice your violin! Hurry eat something!) Our time together in the afternoons was less than ideal too. Mondays we tried to get all her homework for the week done since I teach on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. It took a really long time to get it all done. Then I didn't see her much on Tuesdays and Wednesdays since most of my students need after-school lesson times. Once I was done it was always time to throw supper together and toss the kids into bed... it just wasn't pleasant. Add in gigs that usually happen evenings and weekends, and things were a little out of control. Quitting teaching was an option, but not a great one. I love teaching. And I love my students.

The last straw was that I felt her education was haphazard and not ideal. Her homework was filled with busy work and spelling word combinations that made no sense to me for a first grader. (First, hurt and should in one list?) Sal also never recovered after being accused by her teacher in front of the whole class of stealing a math workbook. She insists she didn't do it, and I sincerely believe her. I'm still feeling frustrated about that one. I imagine it's hard to teach 35 first graders in one class. Her teacher went 3/4 through our parent-teacher meeting before she realized she was talking about the wrong kid.

We've already tried to get her into the surrounding charter schools, but no luck in the lottery. This year, one of the families I teach decided to take their children out of the same school Sal goes to and homeschool them.  They are a family that I really admire, and they talked about what a great time they were having. They joined this homeschool charter that sends a teacher once a month to help with curriculum choices and  things like that, and also give the students $1600 a year for classes and materials. It just started to make more and more sense for us.

I was really nervous about taking the plunge. What about me time? Would Sal do well learning from me? (We don't have a perfect track record with the violin.) Would she be lonely? Would she miss out on important social interactions? So I agonized for a long time. But when I finally convinced Scott and made the decision, I felt good about it. What is there to lose? We can always put her back in school.

So we've been at it for about 4 weeks now. I love it. She loves it. We spend all this time together in the morning working on schoolwork. (We're using the Classical method from The Well Trained Mind.) The subjects are interesting, and so far it has not been hard to work together. We snuggle on the couch reading, or play with legos and coins on the floor for math, or do archaeological digs in the dirt outside, or finish her spelling using the signing alphabet. We're not rushed in the mornings. We have time for real violin practicing- it took her 6 months to learn Perpetual Motion while she was in school, but she has learned 3 new pieces in the last two weeks. She is happier. Her reading is improving at an astonishing rate. I find her reading to Milo or by herself. We cook lunch together- whatever she wants, soup or bread or pasta. We take a break and go to the park or library. She and Milo are playing better together. When it's time for our sitter to come so I can teach, Sal and Milo are happy to go to soccer or ballet and other activities with her, and I am happy to see them go for a little while. We're all happier.

I still worry about Sal getting enough social interaction. We'll have to make sure she's in plenty of classes with kids her age. At the end of the day, I'm exhausted. There really isn't much me time anymore. But given everything else, I think it's worth it. Instead of feeling guilty for not seeing my children enough, I feel like I'm improving my relationship with them both, and so it's a good tired. They'll be little for such a short time.

I'm sure that it won't always go perfectly. Who knows how long we'll keep this up. And I definitely don't think homeschooling is for everyone. If I didn't work or had a regular daytime job, or Sal had been thriving at school, I would probably try to make regular school of some sort work out. But for now at least, I feel like I've made a good decision for us. Are you shocked and appalled?

 Here is Sal at the winter studio recital. She played Allegro. She's got a great sniff. I was proud of all my students, but especially Sal.